Those DAM Beavers

This is an actual letter sent to a man named

Ryan DeVries

regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the

Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality,

State of Pennsylvania .

This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's

letter before you get to the response letter.

State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023;

T11N; R10W, Sec 20;

Lycoming County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of

Environmental Quality that there has been recent

unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
of property.

You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris

dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type

of activity.

A review of the Department's files shows that no
permits have been issued,

Therefore, the Department has determined that

this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes

and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental

Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being

sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania

Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both
of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event,

causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.

We find that dams of this nature are inherently

hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department

therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities

at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow
condition by removing all wood and brush forming the

dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall

be completed no later than January 31, 2007.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been

completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be

scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this

request or any further unauthorized activity on the site

may result in this case being referred for elevated

enforcement action.. We anticipate and would appreciate

your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have
any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative and

Water Management Division.

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023;

T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;

Lycoming County

Dear Mr.Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/06 has been
handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner
but not the Contractor at
2088 Dagget Lane ,
Trout Run, Pennsylvania .

A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized)

process of constructing and maintaining two wood

'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring

Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise

their dam project,

I think they would be highly offended that you call their
skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'

I would like to challenge your department to attempt

to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place

you choose.

I believe I can safely state there is no way

you could ever match their dam skills, their dam

resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam

persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam

work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware

that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the

start of this type of dam activity.

My dam questions to you are:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring

Pond Beavers, or

(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State

to conform to said dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these

particular beavers, through the Freedom of

Information Act, I request completed copies of all

those other applicable beaver dam permits that

have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there

really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes

and Streams, of the Natural Resource and

Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the

Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to

324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws,

annotated.)

I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern

is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?

The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and

are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State

will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or

both of the dams failed during a recent rain event,

causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence,

which the Department is required to protect. In other

words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone

rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.

If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-

flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are

going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any
attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read

English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers

have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long

as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows

downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to l

I've and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of

Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives

up to its name, it should protect the natural resources

(Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned,

this dam case can be referred for more elevated

enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2007?

The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by
then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff

to contact/harass them.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention

to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the

area it is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in

our woods. I definitely believe you should be
persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers
alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch
your dam step!

The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and

being unable to contact you on your dam answering
machine,

I am sending this response to your dam office.

THANK YOU,

RYAN DEVRIES &
THE DAM BEAVERS

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